As jewelers, we intimately understand the word “flaw.” Its a term frequently applied to gems with minor imperfections. But guess what? Almost all gems have flaws (99%). And contrary to popular belief, its these flaws that can add to the beauty and character of the stone.
Flawlessness is a state that rarely exists. And no where does this apply more than when we talk about ourselves. Yet somehow we hold ourselves to impossible standards where flaws are detested and abhorred instead of embraced.
So what do you do to learn to accept your inclusions (a jeweler’s term for the flaws inside a gem):
Flaws tell a story. The next time you notice a flaw in yourself, take a moment to ask where that flaw came from? Maybe your mother had the same physical imperfection. Did you dislike it so much in her? Probably not. Or maybe you can’t stand a scar from giving birth or going on a wild adventure where you fell? Maybe those worry lines remind you that you’ve spent time too much time in a state of anxiety. Wherever it came from, give the story of your “inclusion” some respect: its those flaws that indicate who you are.
Your flaw is someone else’s fave. Whatever you find so unacceptable in yourself might be someone else’s ideal. Those hips you find to be too much might be the love handles of someone’s dreams. That one tooth that sticks out a little more than the others might warm the soul of another whenever you a smile. Can you take a moment to shift perspective and see yourself through the loving eyes of another instead?
Choose neutrality. Just like a flaw in diamond, there isn’t much that can be done about it. Dare to take a neutral stance on your so-called imperfection. Recognize that it’s a silly and a waste of time to change that what can’t be changed. Embracing it might be too difficult for some but a neutral approach might be the ticket to gaining some much needed distance. It just is. So move on!
So just remember: