According to the satirical newspaper, The Onion, Zales may have jumped the gun a little when they unveiled (several) engagement rings for those marrying more than one partner. Too funny.
NEW YORK—Saying the company had skipped a good five or six steps on society’s path to wider acceptance of nontraditional relationships, marketing experts told reporters Wednesday that jewelry retailer Zales had definitely jumped the gun with its new engagement ring commercial featuring a polyamorous triad.
“Zales is definitely getting a bit ahead of itself with its new ‘Abundant Love’ ad—today’s consumers just aren’t ready to see a jewelry commercial like this,” said Venture Marketing brand consultant Caitlin Boyd regarding the new campaign, which depicts a man simultaneously proposing to his male and female co-primaries while presenting three identical gold engagement bands. “This could maybe fly in 15, 20 years, but TV viewers are going to need to see a number of other alternative relationships in engagement ring ads first: a non-monogamous heterosexual dyad, trans partners, at least a few biracial lesbian couples. As it stands, this one’s certainly putting the cart before the horse.”
When reached for comment, a Zales representative stated that the rings, which are available in sets of three or more, can also be customized for polyamorous unions involving secondary, tertiary, or pivot partners.