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Jewelry Jokes…Any Good Ones?

Okay, spent some time digging around this morning, and unfortunately, I must confess, there aren’t that many funny jewelry jokes out there. Maybe I need to create one myself, because I see a lot of humor in this business. But here goes nothing!


WARNING – we cannot be held responsible for any potential unfunniness!


Moderately Funny Jewelry Joke #1

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.”

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said.
The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled
with excitement. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. ” I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.
“There’s no money in that account.”

“I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”


Moderately Funny Jewelry Joke #2

A woman enters a jewelry store and says, “You sold my husband a diamond ring yesterday but it’s the wrong size.”

“No problem madam. We can adjust the finger size easily.”

“Oh, you don’t understand, you sold him a five carat, and I take a ten carat size.”



Moderately Funny Jewelry Joke #3

“Rachel, darling, how wonderful to see you after all these years! My life, what an incredibly large diamond ring you’ve got. Is it a very famous diamond?”

“Oh yes, Hermione, it’s the famous Bloomenstein diamond, but it’s got a curse with it”.

“Really, what’s the curse?”

“Mr. Bloomenstein, of course!” says Rachel.